Dear single people; stop hating Valentines Day.

Americans spend thousands of dollars on each other every year on one day. What do they do it for?

We do it for the chance for one moment of happiness. Even if we don’t get it we know why we do it, because it’s worth it. In that moment you are wanted, without having to feel the fear of being alone in the world. Especially when we meet the expectations of our prospective valentines.

According to the History Channel’s “History of Valentine’s Day” Romans would carry out the fertility festival known as Lupercalia on February 15th where the sacrificed a goat and a dog, skinned the goat and cut the hid in strips. They would then dip the strips in blood and lovingly slap women walking in the streets.

Because it was believed to make the woman more fertile, women welcomed the gentle caress of the goat flesh. Later Christians made the holiday illegal. It was Pope Gelasius who Christianized Lupercalia when he declared that it would be held on February 14th before the 6th century A.D. and would be called Valentine’s Day. It would take some time for those of the Judeo-Christian religion to completely accept the day and it’s meaning.

At one point, people even thought that it marked the beginning of the breeding season for birds. This idea is one of the reasons Valentine’s Day is a day that is know for romance and love. Now it is believed that the Patron saint Valentine created the holiday. He has been depicted in a few different ways. The most prevalent is as a priest in 3rd century Rome. Emperor Claudius II declared that single men fight better than married men. Claudius II made a martyr of Valentine for continuing to marry the soldiers.

How we celebrate this day has changed dramatically throughout time. It changes because the people who celebrate it wanted to make the day their own. Maybe we need to have different expectations of what holidays and celebrations really mean to us, along with our expectations of how others should celebrate them too.

In the postmodern era we buy each other mass-produced tokens of love and cards. With chocolates, we feed each other foods that would release endorphins, the hormone of love. Yet we can get those same endorphins from a hug, a kiss, and any contact that is kind and thoughtful.

By appreciating one another we can do away with some of those expectations and feelings of lonely-ness. This includes the company of friends and family. They are the people that want you. No matter who you are and what you do, your family or family of choice will be there. So, if you are single this Valentine’s day, maybe it’s time to give them some of you time and appreciation.

At the end of the day, or ideally before, realize that how it ends is up to you.