Studying abroad and living with people from different countries with differing cultural influences is not an easy experience.
I remember how excited I was before I left my archipelago country of Indonesia to study in the U.S. I couldn’t wait to find out how interesting it would be to have American friends. My excitement grew when I found out that I would be living among other international students from Pakistan, Egypt, South Africa and India.
As it turns out though, bridging culture gaps is not simple.
One day when I was getting off the shuttle bus, I saw a student from one of my classes. I smiled at him, just to be friendly, because he was my classmate. To my surprise, he didn’t respond. I was so sure that a smile would be a good first step towards making friends, but I was wrong.
Getting along with students from different cultural backgrounds has proved to be a somewhat complicated task. We don’t seem to have the same things in common. When I first introduced myself to American friends and told them where I was from, they seemed uninterested and were not willing to ask more questions about my country or me. It’s not that they were rude, but they didn’t seem to want to engage more than necessary. They were pleasant, but that was all.
One time I decided to take a shot at getting a classmate’s cell phone number so I could contact him if I missed class. I approached my classmate as he was leaving class and asked for his number or Facebook name. He stopped, stared at me, and said, “Why would you ask me for my phone number?” Before I could explain my purpose further, he walked away.
At my apartment, I sometimes feel bothered. I like to study a lot – well, I try to study, but it’s not very easy. My friends like to talk and laugh loudly. I want to be polite, so I don’t say anything. I assume that if they see me studying they will leave me alone or lower their voices, but that doesn’t usually happen. Some people are more comfortable studying in a noisy environment, so I either need to adjust, or find somewhere else to study.
On campus, I often bump into my classmates in the hallway or in the cafeteria. I smile and say “Hi,” but they don’t even seem to see me. I think they know I’m there, and this seems pretty bizarre to me but for them, it seems normal.
By chance, I recently met a student who works at the fitness center on campus. She’s very friendly and shows interest in international students. Immediately she asked me many questions about my country, my purpose of coming to Madison, my impressions of the campus so far, my best experience in this city, and so on. I felt welcome. We had a real conversation with true give-and-take, like a game of Ping-Pong.
I don’t expect American students to pay a lot attention to me; I just want to get involved and make friends. To understand people from different cultures, we need to appreciate their diversity and keep an open mind. I’ve been in Madison now for three months, and I’ve discovered many things in American culture that I really appreciate. I am learning to accept the things that I complained about initially as cultural differences.