Regardless of the how or why, there are people still suffering, both in and out of relationships. Sadly, they are continually overlooking what they can do for themselves, even though they already have at least some knowledge of where to start. So what might be some strategies for intervention?

To begin with, one might try letting  go of everything linking them to their using lifestyle. Those who have been in any number of 28-Day treatment programs have heard the lecture on avoiding old playmates and old playgrounds. Unfortunately, there is another quotable verse often heard in these programs, “Take what you want and leave the rest.” So, when the respected counselors say to their group of maladjusted clients that they can pick and choose what to follow after they leave the facility and return to the “really-real” world, undoubtedly they will have misplaced the thing they heard about also avoiding their overly affectionate counterparts.

Another way of interrupting this behavior would be to refocus the energy of finding a suitable mate into finding a suitable sponsor. A sponsor is someone who has experience in more than just staying off drugs. A sponsor can lead a newcomer through the 12 steps. Many programs offer the 12 steps as a program of recovery to those who are looking for more than just a clear head. These programs even come with instructional manuals, some of which are the “Big Book of A.A.” and the “N.A. Basic Text.”

However, reading about the 12 steps and putting effort into each individual one, and practicing the spiritual principals therein, are very different.

Having a sponsor means that you will have a guide through the unknown world of recovery. Sometimes they even know a thing or two about the mistakes a newcomer can make when it comes to looking for love in all the worst places. A newcomer can draw strength from the wisdom a sponsor has acquired through their time working a spiritual program. A sponsor can offer a point of view that would  go unseen without the help of a caring and critical friend.

The things that I have mentioned so far point out just some of the ways a person new in recovery can stop acting on their destructive impulses. They say that it is never too late to do the right thing. I say that doing the right thing the first time may seem like a fluke, but as that behavior is repeated it becomes just as addictive as getting high. It feels just as good, if not better than repeating the same old negative behaviors, despite the perceived rewards that served so many for so long.

There is yet another way to dispatch one’s self from the throes of self-sabotage when it comes to seeking another’s affection while nursing the breaks and wounds of active addiction. Discovering a higher power is an extremely important part of many indivdiuals’ recovery process. This is not to imply that this is easy. By no means is establishing a concept of God ever easy, but it is definitely possible for those who desire it.

Please check in again next issue, when I will delve into how a “God of my understanding” takes shape.