I really did it this time. Not only did I decide to return to school after a 30 year hiatus, but I have signed on to write for the school newspaper having never worked in the field of journalism.

Add to that, the fact I have now scheduled my first interview with a source and I am so anxiety-riddled that I can barely swallow my chicken-salad sandwich.

Why did I decide to do this to myself and should I book the first available flight out of the country in avoidance of my new self-imposed reality? Let’s examine this further for answers.

My anxiety is arguably justified.

Imagine the reaction of the person interviewed when I step up to introduce myself and he was picturing an 18 to 20 year old student asking him questions and I turn out to be older than the dirt “Joe Dirt” was filmed on. Older than his Mom and Dad and quite possibly the age of a beloved grandparent.

Might he help me to my chair when I show up to interview him?

Might he be thinking “why are you asking me these questions old-timer? Shouldn’t you have the answers somewhere in your breadth of experience?

Now you understand the degree to which that chicken-salad was restricted access to my awaiting belly by a mental-hijacking. This a full week and a half prior to the interview – geesh! Where do I go – www.americanairlines?

I decided to breathe. First in….then out. I did it a few times, then a few times more. I relaxed and the muscles in my neck relaxed.

Next thing you know, my stomach was bellowing “hey sport, you gonna send down the rest of that tasty chicken salad on 15 grain?” 15 grain? What’s this world coming to? (I only know of 4.)

In that moment, I decided three things.

No. 1: I will make a courtesy call to the staff member I will be interviewing to verify his availability and inform him of my status as a returning student and first time news contributor, thereby disarming any shock that may come to him upon seeing my wrinkles, liver spots and visible shaking.

No. 2: I will share this shared humanity by writing honestly about it and offering it to the newspaper.

No. 3: I will have compassion for the human condition regardless of circumstance and especially when it comes to the aspirations of the student – young, middle-age or older than Joseph Dirt!

As it turned out, my concern about being “my vieho” was overblown. The interviews went without a hitch. I guess you could say it was much ado about nothing.

I’m still a little nervous about returning to school, but perhaps not as much as before.