Tennis anyone? Not so fast Billie Jean! Have you seen the condition of the courts at Madison College? Sisters Venus and Serena would have had difficulty learning the game from their father Richard had their hometown courts been this bad.

What’s up? I asked.

For answers I turned to Madison College Athletic Director Steve Hauser.

“There has not been a tennis team here since 2003,” said Hauser over the phone. “There are no plans to have a team and no plans to restore the tennis courts that I am aware of.”

Hauser said a beginning tennis class is offered through the college but it is taught off site.

“It is very expensive to resurface tennis courts and I don’t see it happening … however, it is important the area be cleaned up,” added the director of athletics.

That is interesting: Could it be the game of tennis lost its flair about the time master practitioner/automaton Roger Federer took the helm? This man was tennis perfection personified, but that is about all you can remember of his 10-year reign.

Excuse my diversion, but once upon a time (the Paleozoic Era … errrr, the ‘70s and ‘80s) tennis, like music, had rock stars: Jimmy Connors, Bjorn Borg, John McEnroe, Vitas Gerulaitis. These kings, along with the queens – Billie Jean, Chris Everett, Martina Navratalova, Yvonne Goolagong – literally held court.

This tennis royalty drew adoring fans to Wimbledon, England, to Roland-Garros Stadium for the French Open, and to Flushing Meadows New York for the US Open.

This was must-see TV back in the day as these tennis titans battled long into the weekend hours, sometimes pre-empting “60 Minutes” for God pity-sake.

Connors craftily wielding his two handed backhand for a “winner” against the calm, cool, head band wearing Swede Bjorn Borg. McEnroe, throwing his racquet in disgust and hurling insult after insult at the “blind” line judges. It was simply great entertainment and a level of sports competition nonpareil.

Put it this way, it was enough to get many kids out of the house to play the game, including yours truly.

What has happened? Are Steve Jobs and Bill Gates to blame? Where are the players? The personalities? Where is the interest? Other than Rafa Nadel (the feisty Spaniard) all I see are media savvy, highly coached and trained tennis robots ala “Rodge” and “Joke.”

I decided to check with the Director of Facilities Mike Stark to see if there was the slightest ray of hope for those beloved courts – courts I played on as a kid no less. Certainly this man would have the answers I sought.

“It is hard to justify spending the money on tennis courts when there is no usage and no team,” said Stark. “Plans are being worked on to target that space for student housing…hopefully within three years.”

Wow … that blew my mind. So much so I had no further questions.

So much for the dream. So much for the hallowed ground. Game, set, match … farewell my love!

I bid adieu with tips for you:

1. Tennis is a great game that can be played well into your 100s.
2. Always keep your eye on the ball.