It is the search for truth that brings purpose to my life today, not drugs. In everyday living, moving in and out of relationships, acquired titles, responsibilities, etc., it is a responsibility in itself to place meaning in each of my endeavors.

In my opinion, belief in destiny is for those willing to accept whatever life gives them. I, on the other hand, choose my own destiny by accepting personal responsibility, while also accepting my own natural development as a human being. By investing myself in myself, incorporating all the action and value of living a recovery lifestyle, and incorporating these simple perspectives, I can offer a sense of significance in all that I do in life.

I sometimes think and feel too deeply into my development. So much so, that I sometimes get so far ahead that I catch myself planning my own end.

I don’t mean that to sound cryptic or morbid. I’m just saying that I hope to be a full participant throughout my entire earthly existence.

Knowing I will eventually die, what good or bad things will I have to say about my life? This is quite the question. Being a person who has lived life so close to death, not only by witnessing the death of family members and friends from a very early age, but also as someone who has put himself so physically close to death as I have, and still sit here and pontificate on the subject, I will say that I have lived an extraordinary life, and in an exceptionally short period of time. I am only 36 years old, and I have been more places, seen more sunsets, met more acquaintances, and made more connections with other living things than most of the people I know who are twice my age.

Being a witness to death, especially early in life, forced me to mature at an accelerated rate; early on, I put my inner child in the corner, and insisted that he stay there, perhaps giving way to my eventual behavior as a reckless addict.

As I have grown through the years, I have gone through many changes, in both perspective and approach to life. One thing, in particular, that has changed significantly in my perspective is how I view death, which I see now as more of a just and basic conclusion to life and less of a tragedy, regardless of age.

I believe that it is the passion that fills each life that gives it substance, and not mere longitude. Therefore, if I were to die today, I would say that I have lived a life that is full, and I could not ask for anything more.