Many people in the recovery community are familiar with the term “character defect,” but what does it mean to have a character defect, really? Well, some might guess we simply developed ways of behaving that were not the most admirable or thoughtful, and because of this, we are no longer capable of proper social etiquette. Maybe it really is that simple.

Unfortunately, words have meaning, and the residual effect that the words we use and the language therein, oftentimes affect us negatively. So when someone says “Oh, it was just my character defects coming out,” they are not only dismissing ownership and responsibility for their actions, but passing it off as some sort of external characteristic, while also implying that there is something defective about them as a person. This kind of self-talk is what leads people back into the shaming and guilt that keeps them sick and searching for ways to psychologically or chemically alter their perception. If we are truly going to live a healthy life and give ourselves every opportunity to prosper, and function in harmony, not only with each other, but with the world we live in, then we must start treating ourselves a little better. We can start by just being a little nicer in how we talk to ourselves. I am not a defective person. I am not broken. I’m just a person doing their best.

As always, be well, stay safe, and live free.