The 2024 Academy Awards were uneventful and no match to what audiences have come to expect. While “Oppenheimer” and “Poor Things” deserved their flowers, the show was no spectacle of chaos and drama. 

Ryan Gosling gave a hilarious performance of “I’m Just Ken,” the zipper on Emma Stone’s dress broke and Jimmy Kimmel made an untasteful joke about Robert Downey Jr.’s previous drug addiction. With the addition of John Cena presenting an award completely naked … these are the most memorable moments I can muster from this year, and I am disappointed to say the least.

Nothing has outmatched Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars in recent years, but each show comes with its own moment that sticks out. An example of this would be Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s performance of “Shallow” during the 2019 Oscars, sparking rumors the two were cheating on their partners at the time. The Academy Awards tend to serve up at least one big sparkling glass of theatrics, more examples being the absolute tragedy of La La Land being wrongly named a winner over Moonlight in 2017, Bjork’s strange Swan dress from 2001 or the infamous streaker from 1974. 

As someone who spends too much time keeping up with celebrities, pop culture and award show drama, I thoroughly enjoy that every year one big dramatic thing happens —specifically at the Oscars. 

I like the Academy Awards because I get to see rich people do “rich people things,” such as wearing a tacky swan dress or wearing nothing at all. I do not watch awards ceremonies to see celebrities be relatable; I watch to see what striking event will occur when a bunch of nepo-babies are pitted against each other then forced to cheer each other on after publicly losing at Hollywood’s most prestigious show. 

Now that I have established that the Oscars of the past have given us a big show, which I was looking forward to this year. However, it seems to me that ever since “slapgate” of 2022, Hollywood executives have been playing it safe. No one wants to incite or stir anything up. The Oscars honestly bored me this year, and I am not asking for violence, but I would enjoy some of the regular drama — cheating allegations, interrupted speeches and unexpected kisses. 

Fans have made theories that directors of award ceremonies script dramatic events so more people will tune in the next year, and if that was ever true, I guarantee it is a thing of the past. I am bored with Hollywood and will be patiently waiting for the next big award show scandal that knocks my socks off. Until then, I will be watching reruns of Jersey Shore.